blast attack

this whole last week was such a pain in the ass

so the equivalent exchange was given back in this awesome weekend

i met a lot of new people, revisited old faces, saw loved ones and stared into heaven

One theory i remember saying :

Wouldnt it be great if everyone had the same identical body?

There would be no need for sexual politics, you would love someone based on

their personality.

I dont know why I specifically remember saying this, amidst all the other memories

and flashing lightstreams,

lay to bed bigbop,

hello new semester

i hope you're a lovely one.

hop

ONE MOAR AND IM FREEEEEEWHILLLLLEEEEYAAYY

onagonal

Sopherl! Sopherl! Sterbe nicht! Bleibe am Leben für unsere Kinder!

"Leiden Eure Kaiserliche Hoheit sehr?

Newjob

We are all champions of fate

i dont believe in predestined courses

its up to us to risk everything and find our ways in life

all these people saying, these 30 years have passed, and this is where i am

i dont want to live with any regrets, i wont live with any regrets.

fucked so hard by fate

i feel so trapped underneath a rock sometimes

and then later i realize i need that rock for protection,

even as annoying as being squashed by it is.

then it gets lifted off of me

then i just have to wait till the next stone comes on top of me

this morning i was still pissed from the night before

i was late for school, then i tripped and cut myself for the bus that was already pulling away

why me,whyme,whymefuck

and on top of that i have to deal with the stones

and miss out on the ones I want to see

so fucking badly

why why why

then i swallow what happens, breathe in and accept things (albeit after blowing up)

healing begins yet swells, and leaves residual pain, residual guilt pity and shortfalls

i have, no, want to be more optimistic and more calm and more accepting and less oddball

when i think of things they branch off and create worries that are just sooooo far away from reality that I dont even know where the fuck i come up with some shit

balls.

7 more days, maybe i should make it count?

why do i think like a girl, overanalyzing every possible outcome?

my sister even thinks so.

maybe the world wants me to be a chick

id rather have a penis tyvm

:B

:)x135815

ive decided to leave

im poisoning myself

even though there have been good memories

and many things that i've learnt

you are choking me to death

and I need to be happier

and be in the place where my gut and heart feels is right

landing is in sight

good bye don.

...

family hstory just made it to a whole new level folks.

35 years of compiled shit out on the table.

8y38y3

8y3 8y3 chu8.

LOLSTEEZ

loldouche

closure.

i did what I as afraid to do.

i now have closure.

I also figured out specifically the problem.

my cup is three-quarters full.

as for my sanity,

thank you for calming me, it was invaluable.

morphκύκλος

im getting older

im starting to realize some priorities

at the same time

my parents are starting to die, they are sick

i am without a doubt in my mind an accident

but i am too afraid to ask

i was born when they are already older

i was robbed of 10-15 years of love the moment i was born

i love them so much

please dont die

this brings tears to my face.

i love you.

another circle is appearing. this one is black and white

i must fortitude myself, for the inevitable.

κύκλος.

wait,

i called you something i knew you probably did not like much

but i didnt make much of a deal out it

but i hope you wont dessacrate me, twin

please dont be mad, belchik.

Ending

well

i just completed my first day being 16 year old.

i have reached a milestone in my life.

dare i say it, I am now a full fledged teenager.

i have been told today by different people that I looked happier

less tired, less gruuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhh

I hope this mood continues, because i am so happy with life

all the shit i take from my parents... they love me and only wish for the best

the steven 3 months ago, whom i can blandly say was so bigheaded and ape-ish...

is gone.

i hope gone for good. I like these improvements. There are still some troubles in my life

but without a little negativity in my life, whats the point? We all need a little challenge

or else you'll end up being...gruuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

monotomy

Am i so flat that I wont know when I find what I am looking for?

Im going to pass you, and I wont even know it.

Im going to drone you with my voice till I grow bored of you

I suppose thats why they say its the special or chosen one

You got to have the setting, situation, timing and feeling at once

If theres anything I've learnt from anime...all is one, one is all

Theres no point in change and acceptance if you don't receive something of equal value

Equivalent exchange is what is bows down to...water for ice, fire for ash.

If I were a shape I'd obviously be a circle. I love being round, I hate being cut off.

I wonder to myself, what are you doing now?????

When will it take place, and how soon.

If I knew these answers my life would be a square

I'd rather hurt then feel nothing.

I'd rather choose chaos of monotomy.

ANYDAY. ANYFUCKINGDAY.