i feel so trapped underneath a rock sometimes
and then later i realize i need that rock for protection,
even as annoying as being squashed by it is.
then it gets lifted off of me
then i just have to wait till the next stone comes on top of me
this morning i was still pissed from the night before
i was late for school, then i tripped and cut myself for the bus that was already pulling away
why me,whyme,whymefuck
and on top of that i have to deal with the stones
and miss out on the ones I want to see
so fucking badly
why why why
then i swallow what happens, breathe in and accept things (albeit after blowing up)
healing begins yet swells, and leaves residual pain, residual guilt pity and shortfalls
i have, no, want to be more optimistic and more calm and more accepting and less oddball
when i think of things they branch off and create worries that are just sooooo far away from reality that I dont even know where the fuck i come up with some shit
balls.
7 more days, maybe i should make it count?
why do i think like a girl, overanalyzing every possible outcome?
my sister even thinks so.
maybe the world wants me to be a chick
id rather have a penis tyvm
:B
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